My consciousness woke up slowly, and I realized that something had changed, and the wholeness of the universe, seemed incomplete. Suddenly I had an empty feeling, as I could not find myself. I lay there with my eyes  and all my senses open, but I could not recall who I am. Where in the universe was I currently? My universe just added billions of previously unknown galaxies, and those include millions of solar systems, black holes and other celestial bodies. Just when I thought I had a good hold, on my place in the universe, the universe changed, and now I have to find my new place, in an ever expanding universe. The enormity of my experience, is now approaching infinity, as space and time, stretch out to eternity. In my universal role, I lie here on my bed, and wonder who am I?

Pardon my thoughtlessness, as sometime I go into this trance; of just being in this moment, which is itself passing. I become alive to the moment, and am one, with my time, and space. I lie naked on the ground and banish all thoughts, except, the thought of consciousness itself. I am, so the universe, is. My cosmic body, is part and parcel of the larger cosmos, and we are all start dust, and the primordial vibrations of existence, dwell in me and all around me. All duality between me, and my universe, vanish; and I am lost, and yet, I am found. Who is this universe? Is it is a breathing living being in my existence, and may it be referred to as our soul, as all I do, is done for this moment. Now I seek, only my being; and name, place, origin, destiny all have no relevance. The universe is, and I am it, and if I change, my whole universe changes. Even a simple change, to a more positive attitude, towards life; and its infinite possibilities, makes our universe, better.

I lie on my bed clothed and in deep contemplation, and think of this glow of contentment that arises from deep meditation. I sweep my body with my mind, and in all its parts; I feel the vibrations, and waves of existence.  I live in this feeling, as the sensations of the rising and falling sub atomic particles, below my nose, bring a subtle sensation, which my existence dwells in.  I am alive to the subtle sensations, and now direct my mind, to change the aura, that I am in. I project compassion and love to those around me. I am no longer me, but have become a living, compassionate and loving being. All vibrations entering me, and being projected by me; become, ones of love and compassion, and I am only this vibration. Somebody calls my name, but I do not know who I am, so I continue with my mediation. Consciousness includes the caller into my present reality, and now I am whole again, and life moves on, for the me is gone, and now only the universe exists. Death is a cosmic event, and the I that exists, is not the one that dies. Just the consciousness of the vibrations of our body, ceases to exist, but the celestial dance goes on, undisturbed.

My love calls again, and I suddenly know who I am, and awake to all the possibilities, as my senses are truly seeking satiation. I answer with the insatiable hunger for desire and lust, that keeps, our existence going, in this celestial dance called life. Who am I, and why is it, that all I want to do, is to dance ecstatically, to these rhythms of my existence? Love and compassion, I remind myself, as I awaken to my new self, the more I give; the more I will receive. We complete each other, and the passion of our bonding is the song, sung in the celebration of life. Love and compassion, I remind myself, is the reason for our being, and kindness and happiness flow from us, and surround us. Our universe is in just being, and not becoming happy.

Above all else we are temporal and spatial beings, meaning that we live in a time and a space. All our perceptions of the world around us are based on this time and space, at this moment. All things that we see in this time and space, have their own reality, and we perceive them through our sense organs. We are also intuitive beings, and perceive things around us; as if they have an existence, beyond current space and time. We can only know about the things around us, based on our intuitive ability. The more we grow our intuitive ability, to see our space and time relationships, by moving beyond them, into a new reality. The more we will learn about the world around us. First we must come to know our own Atman, before we can grow our intuitive knowledge through Om.

Copernicus forever changed our perceptions about the planets and the space around us. ‘Copernicus revolutionized astronomy by taking the position of the observer into account.’ From then onwards we noticed the movement of the stars, in relation to the viewer’s perception. Our whole universe changed, as we gazed at the heavens, as space slowly emerged; as eternal and endless, as our knowledge grew. Time also is eternal, and we are fooled into thinking, that Time and Space are our only reality. In fact they too, like the stars above, are transcendental, and we have to seek knowledge beyond them. The things we observe are independent of them, and in fact we are in a world of ‘Maya’, or a not properly perceived transitory world. As the knower is not knowledgeable, he\she cannot understand all that he\she is experiencing, at a given place\time. As we cannot know completely, until all our capabilities are enhanced, the knower limits his knowledge, based on his intuitive capability and reason. Our attachment to this gross world, limits our world of reason and knowledge and we stray from our Atman.

The growth in this consciousness is required for mankind to prosper. We have pondered on these questions for millennia in India, and the Upanishads and the scriptures of ancient Hinduism paint a far different reality. Thousands of year’s ago the students sat at their master’s feet, and explored the meaning of our existence. Human existence is unique and the quest for our reality in a dream\sleep\awake state troubled the sages greatly. We exist in a fourth state (atman) they realized, and it is this conscious being, who is observing the one, in the dream\sleep\awake state. We have to grow our consciousness to improve our intuitive understanding of reality. Reason and knowledge point to a knower who is evolving into a conscious being, and therein lies our future. We have to learn to learn again, and become that knower (atman), who transcends the past, present and future (Om). .

It is only when objects around us become part of our knowledge, that existence happens. Only when we are conscious, does consciousness and reality exist, in its base form. Yet we are limited in this existence, as we know so little, and we all share so much hope, for us to grow. Humanity has built a great need, for knowing more about our existence. Our reality is questioned and we still must maintain our hope, in our future, if we are rational beings. Idealists also use time to their advantage, saying things will get better over time. We can enjoy the present and live life to its fullest, as all constraints have been removed. We are free to become a knower, and be happy, and seek Nirvana. The fourth state (atman) is neither born or dies, and it is neither the dream nor the reality, nor the deep sleep. We are all that, and these objects we see, are not real. When we come to know that reality, we are already transcended beyond it.. Awaking all our intuition is why we have this life, and those who rise from its shadows become the knower (brahman). Live now and be aware of our universe and existence (atman), and we will become free to explore beyond our temporal and spatial world (brahman).

We are told [in Mandukya Upanishad] how, “the syllable Om is verily all that exists. Under it is included all the past, the present and the future, as well as that which transcends time. Verily all this is Brahman. The Atman is Brahman. This Atman is four-footed. The first foot is the Vaisvanara, who enjoys gross things, in the state of wakefulness. The second foot is the Taijasa, who enjoys exquisite things in the state of dream. The third is the Prajna who enjoys bliss in the state of deep sleep. The fourth is Atman, who is alone without a second, calm, holy and tranquil”. R D Ranade

Came across this photo of the Beatles during a random search and realized what a great journey their life must have been, up to that point in their lives. They had seen so much together and experienced so much success and celebration, by this time in their lives. An end of an era was coming and all our lives were changed, by this group of musicians, in some way or form. They wrote and sang the anthems of a global generation and their poetry and music lives on in our memories and hearts. John, Paul, George and Ringo lived our dreams for us and sang our words and played our music, and many moments of our lives were lived, listening to them on the radio, in our homes or with friends in public venues celebrating life.

Even today my internet password is a song from them and the ultimate tribute I paid was when I danced the father daughter dance at my daughter’s wedding, to the Beatles singing “In my life,” and I have loved her and them more.  It was a magical time when the British invasion was successful in the US and a culture of Rock and Roll, Blues and Jazz all came together into a new era of love and peace. We the fans loved them and hated their lifestyle and wondered how happy they must be in their success, and wondered why our lives were so ordinary. They inspired us to find our own dreams of love and happiness. Drugs, counter culture, revolution, peace , love, compassion, charity became new symbols that we proudly carried into our hearts and homes. There are so many details of our lives being intertwined with theirs, that I could write a book but will restrain myself.

Their albums were legendary and I listened and learnt from each one of them, and they became the tunes and words that made me happy, or made me cry. I strove with them for their desires, and lived my life with their morals. In a world of few heroes they represented a new breed of ordinary guys, who were capable of attaining the greatest heights. Knighted they stood tall in their love of life, and we learned much from them, on how to live it ourselves. We left our homes and entered a new world and in our moments of despair they consoled us, or cudgeled us into the next step. I see them in this photo as the fools on the hill, who saw the world turn around. My world still turns around with them, when I am down, I reach out to Alexa and ask her to play…

So ten years, a whole decade had passed since we had last met. Our Life was not meant to be together, and our friendship is just a passing shadow, not real between us. We were surprised to discover each other, after all these years, and find we had some things, still in common between us. The times we have lived in the past few years, have seen a lot of change, in how we live, but we have also made deep friendships. There are people more engaged with their smart phone, and Apple world now, that they do not communicate very well, with humans around them. Meals have become a chore, and more patrons at restaurants are dissatisfied with their servings, as they spend too much time on their communication devices; and letting the presentation wilt, and the food becomes cold and insipid.
So I did not miss you, as life had me in its grip, but now it is different. We actually look up from our iPhones and talk to each other. The meetings of eyes, the sly smiles, the hearty laugh seem so strange, as who had heard of laughter; in the time, of cell phones? We have become slaves, of our devices, and we are more taken up in their care, rather than enjoying the time of life; given to each one of us. With each passing moment we lose a little, but instead with you around; I gain a lot. We are friends after all, and friendship, has its own songs. It has its own verse, language and when appropriate; music, from a common culture. We are so much alike, that I could be looking in a mirror of minds, a common consciousness of the universe; in, and around us. We speak and see as one, and all around us is in harmony, as love flows; where friendship lays, its foundation.
So over Thirty years of my life has passed with you besides me, and everything I am now, is because of you. We have made a life out of nothing, and the credit goes; mainly to you. It is as if, our times, are meant for improving. We make everything look so easy as circumstances and fortune made its own paths, around us. We had enough, as we had each other; and the children made it easier. Life is so busy, and we are so engrossed in living it; that time just passes, as if it’s a river. You and me sat and we watched the river of life flow from its banks, and raised our kids and made our friends. All of ours, has floated down the river of time, and yet we are still stronger, than before. This is a time and a place, that we can rightfully call our own. We have arrived in our place, and we have peace, as we are who we are; and there is no duplicity here.
As we grow older, we have to learn to be more forgiving, and also kinder; to those dear ones, who are around us. The fury and anger, of getting one’s own way, is no longer as strong, as one starts to mellow down. Life is no longer a war with others, for one’s survival, but a time for relaxation, and enjoyment. Play games, read books, enjoy card games, take long walks, be closer to nature as soon nature is going to be, closer to us than. we will ever want it to be. Enjoy the time on this earth, as it is a song, which our life sings in happiness. Will we be the choir? or will our words ring out? clear and loud, for all to hear? Will they stand and cheer for the way we lived, when we are no longer here?
Life is full of surprises, but the greatest surprise I discovered, is the one, I played on myself. When I was young, I had a future; and some, rosy dreams, and the whole world was at my feet. Time passed, in dreams of tomorrow; and the brave new world, and the brotherhood of men; where everyone is successful. In an Ayn Rand way giant industries grow around us and the world progresses and everyone is rich or at least living well. What I could have been, and what I have become; is a strange difference, of my perception and your reality. Sometimes it is me, and then it is the one I am becoming, so now I know, that I just am. It has become too hard, to be trying to change, as I have already become. As thirty years together, have not changed me, so also has life not made me bitter. Even a twisted Pretzel is nothing, compared to the round about ways; that my life turned and on so many different planes, that to feel the wholeness of this moment, is very uncanny. I sit, I meditate,Being Here, I am, yet it is strange to love another, more than oneself. We are all born, and we will all feel love and spread love and joy  We should arrive bringing gifts of love and compassion, and reduce human hatred all around us, We will all pass on, leaving our shared culture, to our daughters, sons, family, friends and this universe.

Image: “Friendships in adulthood” JLS Media on flicker.