Life’s Purpose and possibilities


“Our story is the raft we ride in our ocean of life. We cling to it even while we might lament our story because it feels safer to be on the raft than swimming in the currents of possibilities. When you are ready for change, jump off the raft and swim with a different story.” ― Jeanne McElvaney
The purpose of my life is to serve others; and to enable the others around me to be happier, and dream some awesome dreams, for their future. This is especially true for our children; as if I cannot be an enabler for their dreams, then I cannot realize, my life’s purpose. Life only begins when we look outward and see what we can contribute, in the service of those around us. Our children are our most precious resource; as they represent the future, so their betterment, will give me the greatest reward in this life. So I say to them now – please dream that awesome dream again, and I will be here to act as an enabler; in any way of form, that I can share with you. Suddenly in their betterment; my life gets its own purpose, and to be successful we need to just concentrate on what can provide maximum happiness, to them in the future.
This analogy of life’s purpose; can be expanded beyond the kids, to the larger universe when we are ready. The main reason to have one’s purpose in life defined properly; is to first understand oneself, and what one likes to do. What one actually does; is not important in itself, as there are many paths, to the one truth; it is how one does it (attitude\character\quality), that is important. If we do it for ourself alone, then we only get partially fulfilled. If we do it for our family and friends, then we get a little more fulfilled. If we work in the service of the greater good of humanity, all living creatures and the universe beyond; then it makes our life purpose so much bigger. It is up to us to decide the personal role we are comfortable with; and how far down the road, we are ready to go.
My advice to the children is define who you are, what you feel you are good at doing, then decide who you want to do it for. This is the simple start to having a life; that can be examined, and understood and planned for desirable outcomes. If your life continues to give you undesirable results than sit back and examine your approach. If you dedicate your actions to giving compassion and happiness; then you will find that a lot of obstacles, will be removed from your path. Others around you will be grateful for your contributions; and a positive circle will start, that you can build upon. Remember that when you are down and nothing is going right; then your life purpose will come into play, and by baby steps you can get your life back on track. Then it is only be a matter of adding fuel; from those around you (open your heart), and you will see your train pick up speed, and rush towards the twin goals of happiness and compassion. There will be many stations along the way and you will seek and find companionship of like minded society; who also want to make a difference, in our lives. Examine life closely; and make it worth our living, as only then will we make the difference, that we seek purposely. This life’s purpose that comes from within us; will shine the light that will set us on the path, to true freedom and enlightenment.

The Albatross and his side kick

Long Beach
The Albatross and his acquired side kick; made strange companions, as they dive in the Pacific bay for their daily meal. As the Albatross would rise up and dive in to fish or skim along the waters seeking his prey; the much smaller side kick would cheer him on, and follow and dive along with him. It was a friendship of convenience; as whenever the albatross claimed a prize, the sidekick would nudge in and claim his piece of the treasure. A flock of teals (?) also arrive swimming up the estuary; and they dive for over twenty seconds each swimming under water, to claim their prize from the school of fish that they are following. The sea gulls cry out and dip in too, and then there are the white diving birds, that fly high and scoop into the water and claim their share. The Chinese fisherman casts his twin lines from the rocks on the shore; as the Los Angeles River flows into the ocean, under the overhead bridges. I walked along the shore and the ocean breeze seemed to talk to my very soul; as the Catalina express catamaran, takes the travelers for their pleaasure trip, to the nature preserve over the horizon.
The sail boats are out in the glorious sunshine and their white sails stand out against the blue horizon, as they are carried along by the wind to their destination. The waters are calm in the harbor and the sailing is just nudged by the motor boats plying the bay, and their wake leaves a trail and the waves spread out from their path. I look across the water and see the lighthouse standing tall over the marina, and the buildings and the palm trees line the shoreline view. It is warm enough to go swimming and I decide to take to the heated outdoor pool for a swim, at the hotel overlooking the beautiful view. Beyond the haze the mountains rise and beyond them lay the dry lands and then the dessert of Death Valley. My coworkers have driven off to Phoenix; and then to view the Grand Canyon and finally to sleep in sleepless Las Vegas, before returning back to Long Beach for the grind of the week ahead.
My restless spirit is not interested in the long road trips; as what I seek is not out there, but is somewhere here with me. Last night we were at Second Avenue enjoying some Sushi; as we waited for AT&T to have the time, for the acquisition of an iPhone for one of our group. There were some exotic cars and beautiful people, as after all this is California and the love of the automobile is best portrayed here in the convertibles; that lined the streets along the fancy restaurants. The display of tablets, phones and electronic gadgets is mesmerizing as the world is at your fingertips; if you can just afford the data plan and high resolution screens, which beam social media at you in an unending stream. I browse the Samsung’s, Apples , Windows and other phones and tablets; and am severely tempted by the instant access to all that is available, on today’s world wide web.
Information, Information everywhere, but not an iota of knowledge to think. Information, information everywhere and all the minds did shrink. I know not what I seek; but this overload of information will only divert me from my quest, so I pass on the two year plans and these devices that draw us in are left on the shelf, to beckon to another thirsty browser. In all the myriad data bases; with trillions of data bytes, is buried the mystery of this universe and life. The albatross of parting from this great opportunity on Dhanteeras; hangs heavy around my neck, as these are the vessels of our new age and what better time to buy one than today, as the GPS guides us back to our respective abodes. I feel that the albatross is the endless ocean of information stretching before me, and I am his side kick searching his scraps for knowledge. Facetime, Google hangouts, video chats all connect us now, and what’s up is not a phrase anymore; and my LA woman is immersed in her phone, and the Hollywood Bungalow is just another hot spot, to connect me to her fantasies.
It is just another Diwali in the City of Lights and I will celebrate it, as I know deep down that tomorrow will be a better day for all of us. I plan to go down to the Queen Mary; and watch the fire eaters and the fireworks on this fateful night when good will surely triumph over evil. The colored lights on the white walls of the Maya Resort will become the dispellers of darkness surrounding my soul, and the lights on the palm trees along the walkway will be the path of Ram returning to his rightful throne. Lakshmi will give freely to bless the needy, and Ganesh will bring felicitations and hope to the weary. I feel blessed even though I am alone for I know my family is safe, healthy and on their way to wealth. The festival of lights, in the city of lights, is a grand celebration this year; and my best wishes go out to all my near and dear ones, for hope still lives!

Cultivating our inner garden

Heart of flower
The U S National parks were closed; and visitors were being turned away from the gates and had to return disappointed, that they could not view the wonderful vistas of these natural wonders. From Yosemite to the Grand Canyon to Liberty State Park all across the nation, some of the prized treasures that are being preserved for posterity, were suddenly out of bounds and many a planned family trip had to be cancelled or people had to return disappointed. These are all part of our Earth’s wonders; and the amazing sights are awe inspiring and on such a grand scale, that it leaves the people wondering about the true power of nature. From ‘Old Faithful’s’ regular geyser gushing out; to the gigantic scale of the Grand Canyon, a testimony of water’s powers as the land is cut by the Rio Grande for hundreds of miles at a stretch.
We have been searching space for forms of life for decades now; and have yet to find another planet with life, such as we have on Earth. Nature’s forces have shown an abundance of flora and fauna, and we keep discovering new species of plants and birds and animals even today. Prakriti or Shakti or primordial power of nature; is not something that we can understand easily, and even the creator is at awe in what it can achieve as it evolves. Once creation started, the forces of nature took over and evolved with their own determined principals, creating diversity unimaginable in its scale. The creator having unleashed his creation; now left it to evolve on its own merits, but basic laws of science were the weave and weft for all things to come. Natural laws of Physics, Chemistry, Botany and Biology are enforced; on a second by second basis, and over eons of time. Billions of Galaxies exist; with each having billions of suns, and which in turn have planets and their moons, and all of them follow the same laws. The elements of life were forged in the great furnaces of the Super Nova’s and pulsars, white dwarfs, black holes and creative destruction is a natural part of these laws.

So when humanoids reached a stage in civilization they realized that the conquest of nature; and the creation of a man made order, was a natural desire. From the fabled hanging gardens of Babylon to the formal gardens of Versailles under the sun king Louis, to the geometrical lawns of the Taj Mahal with their flowing fountains, we created our own gardens. There is a desire amongst those who have more than enough; to then go out and make something, which will be their lasting legacy for others to follow. We have selectively worked with nature; and just like the tulip mania that almost destroyed the economy of Netherlands so many years ago, we continue to tinker with species of flowers and plants to create new varieties. The Inca and the Aztec selectively took wild grasses; and evolved them into many varieties of modern corn that we eat today, over the centuries. Similarly the green revolution that put Malthus theory to shame; was the creation of the dwarf wheat and rice grains like IR8, that revolutionized food production and brought beggars, into the land of plenty. We will continue to grow our gardens and now giant tractors, harvesters and combines roam the prairies to provide the man created gardens that feed our billions.
As humans evolved they came to question nature and its laws, that they saw around them. What is it that made the sun rise each day and the moon wane and wither and then become full again? What makes the caged bird to sing; and why does the eagle soar above the storms, that make all other birds seek shelter. These questions all lead us to the lotus of the heart; or the garden within, that we need to cultivate and grow. The laws of the spirit are even more obscure; than the laws of the physical world and even harder to understand, than the physical laws that can be observed and captured in formulas and methodologies of modern scientific thinking. The mighty oak grows from a tiny acorn and the heart of the acorn is empty; except for the spirit that resides there, that will cause it to flourish and grow, given the right environment. The life force that resides in these tiny seeds is powerful; and can cause the growth of mighty forests that live on for centuries, yet we do not know what causes this life force to exist and flourish.
When we look inwards and seek to grow this garden within; we often flounder and are easily distracted, by forces around us. The laws of nature reign supreme whether it is in the tiniest of electrons; or even the sub atomic particles that follow random patterns, to the spiral patterns of gigantic galaxies that span light years, and follow strict laws that sustain them. We are born and we must die; and existence is a stream in the time space continuum, which seems to have no beginning or end. What makes some people good and others evil; and what is it that causes old age and death, are just questions, that many have attempted to answer, but we cannot have a definitive theorem that answers these quest. So my answer is that we must cultivate this garden within. Within the void that is the innermost life force, is the solution to this great mystery of creation. Endless cycles of creation and destruction will continue to infinity; but what is it that we need to do now, to attain knowledge that transcends all of this natural phenomena. The laws of the spirit reign even over the physical laws; and they can only be found in the heart of the lotus, within each one of us. I have traveled this earth and seen its wonders; but what continues to amaze me is this wonder within, which we continue to neglect at our great peril.
Cultivating the spirit and the garden within us, becomes our main purpose in life. This gift of life can be squandered on the world of sensual perception; or it can be used to grapple with the timeless and beyond space reality, of oneness. We are seekers in a land of no answers; and what we find is only another perception, of myriad reality. Each of us is so unique that to even try and explain oneself to another who may be our lifetime companion, becomes an effort in futility. They will never see the world from our reality; as ours is a unique perspective, based on our Karma and experience. Just like you can take the horse to the water but you can’t make it drink similarly we can explore the universe but we can’t know what makes up its core. The core is not without; and after roaming the world in search of it, we must return to what is within. In our own void we must find that which is real; as everything else falls in the Upanishads answer of ‘Neti’, or not this alone. I am; so the universe exists, and without me, my universe ceases to exist. This Atman or life force was always here, and always will be; but our vision is clouded by the world of Maya and we see only the here and now. So be aware in this here and now; and all eternity will be at your beck and command. Cultivate this garden within, and it will become your fulfilling life work; as compassion and love are not external, but must first start in our own heart. Be happy; and happiness will flow and be joyful, and the world will revel with you in all its wonders. Offer everything to Brahman and the Atman will not want for abundance, for after all there is no duality here, and everything is still one with our creator. Sat Chit Anand.

Astral light

Astral mystery Celestial dance Fall eve Light fades
In the beginning there is just the amazing awe of the astral mysteries that seem to surround this blue planet; on which we find ourselves hurtling through space, in our solar system, within the milky way galaxy. Nature puts up astonishing displays, and if we do not look up to the heavens; and instead become absorbed in some details of our lives, we miss the whole trip. The more we detach ourselves from this daily desires and longings, the more we can take in, from all that surrounds us and provided by the creator for us to experience. The world as they say is at your feet; but you are too busy buying the perfect pair of black pumps, from Jimmy Choo, to walk all over it in style. It is better to stay in a state of perpetual awareness; at this universe and explore its mysteries; than to accept our fate, and keep our shoulder to the grindstone, and our back and legs providing the locomotion, to a meaningless death.
The next stage is often euphoric and people are often known to see celestial wonders and all is revealed to them in a shining Astral light. Their shoulders are no longer stooped; and they have a new spring in their step, of hope in the everlasting. They spread happiness bringing it from where they came, spreading it amongst the present, and then moving on to the future recipients, of their wisdom and good sense. Celestial wonders are just that (they are only celestial wonders and not the true path). Sooner or later the traveler breaks out from his bhakti or devotion, and moves to another area more promising school of realization; for deliverance. Still many of his companions stay in the state of devotion and this path also reach the same goal, so a large amount of travelers remain behind doing their ritual ablutions, praying and making love and merging with their eternal spirit.
The next stage arises when the rose colored glasses of bhakti and devotion come off and you can now see reality. Everything takes on the stark beauty of nature and everything appears crystal clear again. Gone are the celestial dances and the astral visions (rather they are still there but have been put aside like left luggage to continue the journey) and instead an understanding of unity in all of nature’s bounty; every single moment, and is felt like prana (life force) in every single living cell in the body. The mind becomes pure and doubt and sorrow vanish. Pain and pleasure are still there but you have gone beyond them to a new reality, where you do not react to them, or cling to them like you used to. You attain a freedom of choice; inexperienced before, so you do not know how to react to the whole time space continuum; as every day is new, and lets you shape and carve it like a potter and his clay. Today you may make your clay oil lamps (karma) for the nights of darkness to come when they will come in handy when you complete your dharma. There is equanimity about the external world; as the inner soul is shining through, so compassionately and lovingly. The light brightens and everything is crystal clear and your choices are easier to make.
Finally you get to the stage where the light begins to fade. All your life this light of reason, and this light of truth held you together; but now, even they start to fade. All the reality that you have grasped to yourself, itself starts to desert you. The senses start to fade and you hear less, see less, taste known things, feel the touch but cannot make out the object etc., names disappear and relationships of lifetimes become placed into neat cupboards and promptly forgotten. All the colors and flavors of life are still all around you but they do not attract you in the same way as before. The shape of a ripe mango no longer reminds of ones lover’s young breast, but instead looks interesting enough to eat. It is at this time that you are finally freeing yourself from all the chains around your heart. As the body’s light fades another grows stronger, as you know that the time for leaving this vessel is coming. Everything will return to Brahman; and as such you are only going back home; and while others may mourn at the passing of your light; but for you their sorrow is of no avail, as all you had will be left behind, and the parting is also fading as you get ready to move on.. The journey of course continues, as a new dawn destroys the darkness… .

Lotus of the heart


It is 3:30 AM again on the next night; and I look up at the night sky and see that Venus shines in the same position in the sky, that Aries the hunter is on his tireless march across the heavens but in the same place as yesterday, I look up high and see the seven sisters in the same place and then I look down and the same pulsing galaxy far far away continues to pulse and send its energy down to me from its same position, just above the neighbor’s roof. It is Déjà vu and nothing seems to have changed; but I know it is a different night, and yet everything remains the same. I am the same reality; and I walk the same steps and relive the night before, and have the same questions and get the same answers, and smoke the same cigarette and sip the same green tea, and yet everything is different. Life has gone through another day; so why do I still appear to be stuck in the same rut, and the wheels of existence churn away at the same rate.
I am reading the Shvetshvatra Upanishad toady; which talks about the face of God and how it is found in the heart of everything, while we live in the duality of conscious spirit and unconscious matter and the veil of Maya that separates it. It states that when all the three Gunas are seen as one; the Self reveals its universal form, and serves us as an instrument of divine will. In its verses the devotion for the Lord of Love is supreme; it shows the path from the changing world of the senses, to the fulfilling presence of a causeless and changeless reality. Deep in my heart; tinier than the width of a hair, this Self is the knower and the bestower of life and consciousness; and it flows from Brahman and returns to him. I am ignorant of its presence and veiled by Maya, cannot feel its presence. So I must mediate using a mantra like Om to still the mind; and seek teachings from the teacher who will aid me, to help pierce this veil of ignorance and find the Lord of Love and the supreme reality.
I come back inside and the sense of Déjà vu remains; as I flip the same switch and the same light illuminates the same room, of my home. I sit down to write this and it is the same ego; and the same intellect, which is controlling the mind, which in turn holds the reins on the senses, which are focused on the same sense objects. I am like the bird on the tree of life; who is partaking the fruits of pain and pleasure and suffer and rejoice in my activities, and my desires lead me to seek birth again and again, to go through this unending cycle that separates me and gives me identity. I do not see that other bird sitting on the same branch; who just looks at me eating the fruits of pain and pleasure, and does not partake in them, and has awakened his Self, and is rooted in the ageless and timeless Lord of Love who is the seer, knower, creator and destroyer of everything.
So another night is passing and I am no closer to the answer of my quest as this life seems to move in circles; and I have lost my way in the labyrinth, of my own senses and desires. The Lord of evolution has lit this spark, and I am free to evolve along my chosen path where the GPS has a temporary glitch it seems. I want to recreate that magic of that first love so tender and sweet, the pleasure of the first sip of that water from the mountain spring to quench my parched body, find again that green valley rising into the evergreen mountain forest, which haunts my visions of and I know that once I dwell in it, I will have peace. I cling to the same dreams and aspirations; caught in this web of Maya, and all paths lead to the same results. Even these Upanishads mocks me by repetition as if reborn; for the Shvetshvatra Upanishad’s beginning invocation is the same, as the one I read in the earlier opening to the Isha and the Brihadranyaka Upanishads:

All this is full. All that is full.
From fullness, fullness comes
When fullness is taken from fullness,
Fullness still remains
Om shanti shanti shanti

I guess that the knowledge that is to be sought from these scriptures, is not an instant cure; but has to be absorbed slowly, and realized over time. Everything is already full and already exists as per his laws; and the interchanges of energy and mass, as time and space move into each other, remain ever changing, but what is created is complete. One has to purify one’s body, still one’s mind and then take the time to dwell deep into the lotus of our heart. It is only another passing night I realize; and I still have many lifetimes to go, before the light that leads to the state where there is no night will be mine. Then I can be one with Brahman in every waking moment; and this dream state and dreamless state will all pass into that all knowing state of consciousness, where I will be one and not dual. I flip back and read again the opening invocation from the Chandogya Upanishad; and decide to try and understand its haunting words, as perhaps therein may lie the clue to this mystery’s solution, that the seers have shown. Here I may find the start of that faint path; that is a subtle path, that is subtler than time and space and reality, and I will be freed at last from this ego and this perishable body, that I cling to so lovingly. The Self (Atman) they say is hidden in the lotus of the heart; and those who see themselves in all creatures go day by day into the world of Brahman, hidden in all our hearts. I resolve to take the first step on this journey and follow in the steps of the ancient ones, who first revealed these words:

Lead me from the unreal to the Real
Lead me from darkness to light
Lead me from death to immortality
Om shanti shanti shanti

Action, devotion, knowledge.

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According to a NASA scientist the current 11 year ‘Solar Cycle 24’ is the weakest in 100 years; which may be helping to keep the full effects of Global warming, from taking effect. We cannot count on the Sun to give us respite from our own follies; but our unusually quite star, has got scientists wondering. We do not have enough statistical information in our time series since record keeping on the observed number of solar flares and sun spots started in the 18th century; to extrapolate if we are headed, for another mini ice age yet. There are multiple cycles in the sun’s activities and we are not even sure what they are caused by; to predict future changes or outcomes, and can only wait and see how long this one will be.
Luckily for us our planet is still absorbing more energy; than we are releasing out into space, so we are confident that life will continue as it is, for quite some time. Just an imbalance in our one star can cause havoc for our lives; and so what happens if our Milky Way galaxy suddenly collides with another galaxy, which has billions of more suns and what havoc will that cause for existence is a cosmic mystery. In the Hindu tradition while Brahma is the creator and created the universe and all that is in it from his mind; it is Shiva who is the leader of chaos, change and destruction in the universe, and Vishnu rounds off the trinity, and is the only one to have taken avatars, to save life forms and preserve creation in the form of Krishna, Ram and many others. So I would equate the sun’s peaceful time to Shiva’s meditation and contemplation before he starts his next chaos theory. We all know that Brahma’s Kalpa or time horizons run into billions of years; and may be compared to a high mountain against which a bird flies a silk cloth every 100 years, and one Kalpa will last till the mountain is eroded away by the passing of the cloth.
As such infinite time and space is not quite comprehensible to normal humans we have to find an easier way to understand our birth, life and death. The Bhagwad Gita (Song of God) teaches many different ways to live a righteous life and of these I will just chose three, to simplify finding a path for salvation in this life. The first of course is the path of Karma Yoga or the carrying out of our Dharma by doing righteous deeds. For good to triumph Krishna teaches Arjun on the battlefield of Kurukshetra that a warrior must do his duty, even if it’s the killing of near and dear ones who are following the path of Adharma or evil. So this is a primary motive for us to live righteously; as one has to first act out the duty that is given to us in this lifetime towards our family, wealth, status or spiritual leanings. We have to carry out this duty without attachment to its outcomes. We do not destroy an evil empire in the hope of attaining all its wealth; but do so to make sure a righteous rule, can be established for its citizens. Only when we act without attachment; do we ensure that the Karma does not add to our desires, and we can then move into a state where we become detached from this body and its reincarnation to attain eternal peace.
The second path is of Bhakthi where we seek meditation and devotion and become immersed in the love of a Guru, God or Mantra; that we repeat constantly to ourselves and lose ourselves in it. All our actions or Karma are then devoted to this being and we do not become attached to the outcomes. Every action we take; we do for this love of the object of our devotion, or God. Our mind is removed from evil thoughts; and we seek only the eternal love, that comes from our prayers and sacrifice. This is also the path of renunciation; as we give up our earthly desires, in pursuit of the love of the pure state, that our ideal represents. To follow this path we need to open our hearts to love and devotion. On this path many saints have gone before and we find faith in their writings and songs, and we seek ‘Satsang’ or righteous companions who are also progressing along the path of Bhakthi. This path also teaches detachment to bodily desires; as we know the love that comes, from an open heart and mind. This love cannot be explained as it has to be felt; and this path of salvation comes from faith, found in the heart and soul, and not from the intellect.
The third path is one of Gyan or wisdom where we seek the truth through meditation, contemplation and study of the scriptures and learned treatises. We seek other intellectuals and learned beings to discuss and debate the meaning of life and the means of creation and destruction. This is a path that may lead to many missteps; as we attain levels of knowledge and attain ‘sidhis’ or powers, as we progress along it. We can be easily distracted from the goal of salvation; when we become entangled in our own wisdom, and attached to our knowledge as superior, to that of others. With knowledge can come power and if we get caught in the power trap; then we cannot progress, along the true path of renunciation. The other fallacy of this path is that true renunciation of the senses; cannot be an intellectual process, but has to be felt from the soul. As the mind cannot easily understand the time space continuum; and easily part with its ego for eternity, it becomes hard to let go and we are reincarnated again and again, to go to ever higher levels of wisdom. True Gyan is only attained when we are ready to give up all we have learned; and enter the void, with no karma to tie us to this birth.
This is a simplistic view of the knowledge that Arjun learned; as his heart was open to listen to Krishna and his friend and guru taught him slowly, and opened his mind, as he progressed through the different levels. As each level became clear; Krishna moved on to the next concept, so that Arjun could understand that there is no one path to salvation. I believe that we need to follow all the three paths outlined above, at some time or other in our life. The path of Karma is where we act to carry out our duty to society and our family and do it without getting attached. The path of Bhakthi is important as we need to open up our heart; to the beauty and love of the creator, as just duty is not the only goal of life. Lastly we need to exercise our intellect to attain a higher learning; as only then are we distinguished from the animals and other living creatures, like the fauna and microscopic beings. We need to pass the wisdom on to our progeny; so that they have a path to follow, that leads them to salvation, and away from superstition and false beliefs. Our body, heart, mind, soul all have to be purified to get to the next level. Choose any path and follow it; as in the end they all lead, to the same goal. The biggest mystery is that our soul is already eternal, and our mind refuses to accept it. We become attached to physical beauty, wealth and power and with it come all the vices of lust, anger, greed, hate and ignorance. These are all untruths of maya (non-permanent) and we cling to them and they become our chains to pain,suffering and death. The truth which is eternal remains lost, till that awakening when we break the threads of attachment to maya, and our heart and soul opens to experience Brahma.Then all you do is just an offering to him, as everything flows from and to him; and no Karma attaches to you and you are free at last.

Democratic franchise

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Watching the TV series ‘America the story of us’ on this hot Indian summer weekend in Arkansas I finally got through the episode on the bloodiest war; where brother fought brother and the ideals of the Union finally prevailed, over the beliefs of the Confederacy. Ten sentences uttered at Gettysburg PA by President Lincoln have stood through history and they summarized the many years of the divide caused by cessation;and the struggles of the civil war and ended with the immortal words, “that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom; and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.” Modern warfare had killed almost two percent of the US population; which would amount to six million today, and the end was not in sight. The President was a visionary in so many ways besides the abolition of slavery, as the modern nation was being born. Railroads spread across the land and the telegraph became the new internet of instant messages. The first land grant colleges appeared and education got its great boost. Westwards the nation grew at a pace unimaginable before; and a whole continent was opened up, as one of the greatest migration from the old world to the new started. The Indian nations declined into reservations and the African Americans fought shoulder to shoulder for equality and the opportunity to be free.
Today we have a black President whose family in the White House is an inspiration to many other inner city kids; who may have a renewed faith of what can be achieved in this land. There are no excuses any longer; and while the road is still long, and the hidden prejudices still there below the surface, driving the descendants of slaves into pockets of ignorance, without opportunity or franchise, the hope will not perish, of a better world to come. Those who continue to divide humanity by playing the race card or morally superior beliefs of caste or religion should be banished from the public stage. We need to remember the words of the famous philosopher at the dawn of modern Democracy that “One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors” – Plato. This is even truer in the developing world and the Middle East and Africa where nascent democracies are struggling; in the same way the soul of America was raked through the fires, of the great civil war. Great achievements require great sacrifices; and we are still at a delicate balance in our history, all over the world.

How can these ignorant, filthy, downtrodden millions know any better; than what they have. They deserve what they get; as they are not ready to lead the disciplined lives, that would let them rise out of their poverty and ignorance. Their leaders are often dynastic rulers cheered on by sycophants and those who benefit from their largess. They cater to a band of loyalists or thugs that project their power; and are often immersed in personal gain or misguided philosophies, at the cost of their larger constituents. The means of production and capital are often controlled by a few; and the masses struggle on, eking out a living at a couple of dollars a day or less. They are chattel and fodder for the great game of politics, that are played across their own lands. Vested interests take a toll on resources and hold back the ingenuity of millions, in the twin reins of power and corruption. They are allowed to live and die in darkness; bereft of basic human needs of energy, sanitation, food and health.
We should again become the beacon on the hill as that is our manifest destiny. There is no longer room for the despots to hold back their huddled masses; and subject them to conditions, that should have been removed by the industrial revolution and modern science. As the last super power we do not need to wage war and invade, to put things right. There are more enlightened ways to take this war on ignorance, disease and poverty to the masses. We have eradicated small pox (which was one of the enemies that George Washington battled in that cruel cold winter in Valley Forge PA, during the revolutionary war) and there are still many more milestones to conquer. Overwhelming force and shock and awe as shown by General Sherman on his march to Atlanta; and then on to the sea in to Savannah Georgia were the final straw that broke the proud South’s back, in the civil war. We do not have to use the scorched earth policy across the globe; to bring bad regimes down, but need a better way.
Visionaries like Bill Gates and other philanthropists like Carnegie, Rockefeller and Ford before have shown that along with great wealth comes a great responsibility to do the most good. One cannot bring democracy to the masses but one can aid in bringing education, health care and better nutrition to the poor. The forces of good can overcome the draconian policies of these regimes by taking steps to provide opportunity and knowledge to the people. Then it will be up to the people to bring about the change they so desperately need. We can be the agents of the change; but cannot force it, as it is the people who have to decide what they need or want. They themselves will create the society that will benefit them and their belief systems; will have to evolve to come, into the modern era. This process cannot be forced and will take its own time; depending on the the ability for a region or people, to accept change. All change will not be for the better, so we cannot foresee what the future will bring. The forces of good and evil have fought for millenniums and will continue to do so in the future. We can only chose our leaders well; and then make sure that they do the right things, and if not make a change. Throw the bums out; but use the force of law, and not the capricious whims of the moment. The pursuit for a more perfect union; must first be carried out at home, as there is a lot of work still ahead of us. The war on ignorance, superstition, bias, poverty and bad faith has just begun. Democratic franchise is the greatest choice the founding fathers made for us; and we must continue to strive, to help to perpetuate their legacy.

Spirits and quilts


America was founded by the spirits of its pioneers; who uprooted themselves from the old world and set out to an unknown new world, where they believed they could make a better life. Even today this pioneering spirit lives on; as we remain one of the most mobile societies, where people will give up established homes and move for a better opportunity to an unknown new town or city. This spirit was what drew me here so many decades ago; when I moved my befuddled wife and confused children into a new existence, so far from where they were born. Maybe it was the open road that I had traveled on during my college years travelling across from New York to the west and back not once but twice over 2 long summers. Memories of the highway miles speeding by as one rolled across the eastern sea plain; to the endless prairies, and the desserts and the mountains across magnificent canyons, and slept on the shores of wondrous lakes of fresh water, to the amazing cities springing up in the wilderness. I learnt its history first hand; and found that the weave of the American quilt is unique, and the pioneering ladies who made up the early quilting bees, often had this as their sole source of socializing in their new homes.
Life on my return was different; as there was a family to provide for, and a home to build. Moving into a modified log cabin with minimum facilities; in a beautiful lake town, was the first anchor among many that came later. Commuting to Manhattan that I dubbed ‘maya nagri’ in my native tongue, or the city of masterful illusions, I was just another worker bee, servicing the queen bee of commerce and wealth. It drew in people from all over the world; and its financial systems had tentacles spreading across the globe, and the big money center banks were too complex, for even an MBA to understand. The NYC metropolitan area melting pot had communities from all over; and the cuisine was as varied and the languages spoken on its subways as diverse, and the cultural events held on weekends celebrated, long lost customs and festivals of the old world. There were many I found who lived in a time warp; raising children in old values, that even the countries that they had left behind, had forgotten or consigned to the pages of history. Thank God for the American High school as its bands marched on with their rousing Sousa marches; and the sport team played the local teams in rivalry games, that the die-hard fans could rattle off stats on for decades or more. Here the melting pot really worked; and kids picked up the accents and the mannerisms of the age and locality, as they slowly emerged as Americans at the end of the experience. Dual lives were lived by the immigrants as at home there was a different life; and in school it was a homogeneous amalgamation of shared experiences, and the spirit was infused and the young minds molded into a new world feeling. There were social divisions and prejudice; and all the ills of modern social interaction, but they were tempered by a common goal and a shared knowledge, starting each morning with the pledge of allegiance to the flag of the United States starting in elementary school. Irrespective of religious beliefs or cultural backgrounds you learnt what it meant to be an American. The Greco Roman facades of some of these institutions are testament to one of the greatest education systems ever built. They are as much a part of the American quilt, as apple pie and the Star Spangled Banner.

Most of my working life was spent in the pursuit of the mighty dollar, in what we simply called the city. Everybody understood what you meant when you said you were going to the city; as there was no confusion, as nowhere else in the world did such a confluence of five boroughs exist. Over time Queens, Brooklyn, Manhattan and their neighborhoods became household names familiar like an old aunt or uncle. Broadway, Fifth Avenue, Wall Street, Columbus Circle, Central Park, garment district became a part and parcel of life, and all that it had to offer. Identities merged with neighborhoods and life’s events were woven into a tapestry of locations and seasons and relationships, tied as much to a time and space, as an event. New Jersey was our home and the extended family became the focal point, of visits and celebrations. Births, marriages, deaths, graduations, divorces, anniversaries became the gathering points to discuss life and what pain, misery, joy or happiness it provided. Children grew up went on to college; and then took up professions and settled down with families, or otherwise branched off into their own lives. The American quilt grew; with its myriad pieces stitched together, and each new member contributed their own experiences into the larger whole.
Today it has become its own diaspora as the family is dispersed from the East to the West coast with some spread out like dots on a GPS map in various states in between. Not everyone is a failure; and neither is each one a roaring success, but sufficing it to say that they are largely middle class and the heart and soul of the spirit of America. Opportunity knocks and they answer with reluctance to give up the old, but then embrace the change and move on. The oldies may question change and these newfangled ways; but even they have to concede, that the spirit is alive and well. They may regale on some occasions about their own struggles and times that they went through, and do not realize that the next generation has to live through its own struggle and make their own lives as best as they can. They are not content with just a comfortable life that our struggle can help with; but must strike out on their own and build their own, in the American way. The quilt may become frazzled and unravel at times, but then someone has to make the effort and stitch it back together again. I look outside at the manicured green lawn and the large hibiscus bush; that adorns some of the apartment entrances, in small town Arkansas. We have standardized life and it could be anywhere in this vast land; and I realize that long as I can afford the rent, I could move anywhere that has gainful employment and live the same experience. The internet connects me to the world and smart phones and new devices connect to the TV, and the world is a click away. Circumstances caused me to move here; but it could have been anywhere else, and I would still lead a similar existence. Mediocrity and homogeneity are easy to adapt to when the society is developed; and we find pleasures in small differences, that bring flavor to one’s life. A particular film, play, show, book, magazine, town, TV channel becomes the definition of our individual preferences, and who we meet and interact with depends on it. Then as needed we uproot ourselves and start all over again and having traveled many miles; often find ourselves living the same life, in a new place.
So now the spirit is rising again and as my wife says; I am showing all the symptoms, of becoming antsy again. Where will I head off to this time I am not sure, but the time is not that far off that it will happen again. I do not want to change and would love to live this way in comfort and certainty about my tomorrow, but I know God and this universe have other plans. We live in the world of the spirit; and this physical manifestation, has to learn to adapt and change. If we allow it to define us, then we lose the point of this existence. Listen to the calling of your spirit, as only then will you give up this old world, for the new. Opportunity is calling, and to seize this moment is the only hope. I am, but in the end I am not this alone. The past is gone; and the future is uncertain, so this moment is it. Live it, love it and lift your head up to the heavens and bask in the glory of the sun and let the spirits move you. Weave your quilt with care and then leave it for others to carry on the work, and your spirit will live on in its beauty.

Darkness to light


In this late summer night I see the moon wearing a Venetian mask; that is half shining bright and the other perfect half is in a darkness, which reflects my own tortured soul. Every morning when I get up; or even late at night, I feel this war rage on inside me, whether to dwell in the dark side of despair, or emerge into the light of hope. It is not the moon’s fault, as I know that it just being itself; and it is only my imagination that is attracted to its light, but is also drawn into its darkness at the same time. It feels my anguish; as I wander in the late night with the darkness surrounding me, and at the same time, it lights my path. I walk on towards my destination, even though I may have lost my way. We are pulled and attracted by the dark forces of hatred, bias, ignorance and greed and at the same time need to keep our balance and move towards compassion and knowledge. As Somerset Maugham pointed out that in life we always are walking on the razor’s edge, and nobody knows what we will decide to do in the end.
The forces of good and evil, of dark energy and light, battle on across the vast reaches of this universe; and we are pawns in their games. It is so easy to give in and take the easy path and having started on it, oftentimes there is no turning back. The try it once; becomes a second step, and then we are running well on our way to a place, we should never have even entered in the first place. We give in to sensual pleasures and delight in the orgies of the flesh; and life seems to be finally rewarding our wildest dreams, with more of what we crave. It is easy to justify that existence was meant to be this way; and even question as to why would God created these pleasures, if we are not meant to enjoy them. Excess is good and the more the merrier; as hedonistic lifestyles and depraved thinking become our motto, and life is an endless parade of days and night that provide even more fuel to quell our mortal fires.
As I walk across the park; I come upon a picnic table, on which a couple has left two identically filled cups with clear water and two straws sticking out, lit by a mercury lamp in the darkness. Now I am even more mystified; as what do these represent, on this dark night lit by a stage like beam. I realize that the clear water means that the two sides of my soul are pure and unblemished, and nothing can taint them. I may color them in darkness or light but at the end they will emerge again, just as they once were clear and receptive to whatever I want them to be. It is my karma that writes on the clarity and I make it dark or light by my actions; but there is always the path to return back to its original form, as the soul is timeless and cannot be burnt, cut, colored or be hot or cold. My pleasures and my despair do not affect it; and it is just there and while I live my life, it is only a cup that I am filling. At the end it will be left on this picnic table and others will not see the colors that I painted, as it will be clear again.
So I walk back to my apartment and a great weight has lifted from me; as the darkness and the light of being, do not trouble me anymore. My past actions do not have the consequence to control my present, as only I own this moment. I turn on the light and sit down to write this, for the clarity of the water needs to be explained to everyone. We have the choice to wipe the slate clean, and start over again. The noise of the past is no longer a roar in my mind and it is clear and pristine again. This present is the only life I know and those who recognize me for what I was, do not know me. I grapple with truth and seek the knowledge, which only a clear head can provide. The light must come from inside me, and I light my own way. I dance on the razor’s edge; with an abandon all alone, for who else is there to share my joy except my creator. If your inner feelings allow you; come jump up on this razor’s edge with me and live life fearlessly, for this is the cosmic dance that he created us for, and neither darkness nor light will affect us. He is, and he made us free to dance in his clear light.

Look up and see the wonders

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All my life that I can remember I have always walked with my head down; peering down at the ground before me, as if afraid that I would lose my path. The weight of modern life sits on my shoulders and I am constantly weighed down by chores not done; or duty not preformed, to perfection. It has always been safer to avoid eye contact and keep to yourself; as who knows what psychos may be around, or god forbid by looking up you may invite the wrath of the local bully. The safe path was the one where you went about your business unobserved, and unobserving of everything around you. So I walked away my life looking down; and not bothering to even venture to explore, what may lie on the horizon.

There are many others like me I realize now, who find themselves in the same quandary. They go through life as if it is a narrow band that restricts us; and keep their heads down, and walk the known paths. They are born, go to school, get married have a family and then pass away into the pages of history, like the billions before them. Unknown, unsung and unrealized I walked with them and am afraid, of life itself. I restricted myself to only knowing what came before me; and not bothering to explore, what lay beyond my comfort zone. It is only a matter of time before this life will end and I will pass away, and none will be the wiser for it. My close friends may say he lived a great and upright life; but they know so little because I reveal so little of my emotions, or my aspirations, even to them. I walk alone with my head bowed down; and see the tunnel that my life has entered, and all is well, and I am safe in my ignorance.
I read today that a meteor shower from the Perseus constellation will pass through our atmosphere on Sunday and Monday. It will pass unnoticed by many of us; like so many other stellar phenomena, that have come and gone in our lifetimes. It stirred up some hidden longing in me; that maybe there is more to life than just this downward gaze, I have held on to, for so long. I plan to find an unlit field and lie in it on my back on this summer night, and gaze up to the heavens. I want to see nature paint its streaks of light across the dark horizon, and gather again the wonder that I have lost. Maybe the horizons will open up new vistas; that I have not dared to look at, for so long. Where is my galaxy, this Milky Way that everyone writes about, where are the galaxy clusters that are the largest structures that scientists praise. I want to look again at the miracle of this creation; and with eyes raised to the skies, unravel the mysteries that brought me here. Who am I and why am I here and why now; are questions that I have never bothered to ask, and much less sought answers to.
So now that I have decided to leave my comfort zone; and gaze upwards, maybe I won’t slouch, and drag my feet anymore. Maybe a spring will rise in my step, and an uplifting of my soul will naturally follow. I look back at evolution and realize why Homos Erectus was such a big deal, for our survival. It allowed us to look at the horizon, and see things that others could only jump up to see, occasionally. As we looked we also started to plan the next hunt, survival tactics or travel options. When you can see far; you can also travel farther, and chances for survival improve immensely. It helped our brains to grow connecting neural pathways; that sprang anew, till now we have billions of connections formed and ready to fire at the first opportunity. The mind is now supreme and the simple act of looking up; has led us here, so why do we spend our life in continuing to look down; as if our hidden treasure was below, and not above.
Now I try to look up and admire this strange new world, which I have found. The skies are brilliant at sunrise and sunset, and often in between also. The cities are lovelier as they rise in their glass towers; to heights that would knock your Fedora off, if you looked up. The tall crane above the unfinished building has a flag flying high; and it is a testament to human ingenuity, that we can build upwards with a practiced ease, and only our imagination limits us, as to what we can create. Admire the burning horizon, look up to the ever changing skies, enjoy the meteorites streaking by in the middle of the night; as it is all here only for us. I gaze at the tall tower and the sky above; and see the brilliance of the sun cascade off it in a lights of color, all unique to this moment in time. The wonder is reborn, and my mind is alive to possibilities again. Too long have I been a slave to my fears, and my phobias, and unresolved frustrations, and it has led me to this living hell. This path is no longer my tunnel of life; and I break free from it, and step out to the horizon. I will find new vistas to look at, and new opportunities to conquer. I will reignite that passion and the fire that is mine by my birthright; and will cry out like the infant I was, when the life-force was still strong in me and did not give what it promised. All I have to do is look up and remember that we were unchained by our ancestors; and sloth and acceptance, is not in our genes. We are Homos Erectus and live in complex social structures; and are the only ones who question reality, and develop science, technology, philosophy, art, mythology, literature and religion. I promise myself to once again join the tribe of these tall ones; and look up, and seek that which was never found. In looking up all I am losing are my inhibitions; and new discoveries are just around the corner, and I know that such beauty can only make me one with the creator. We laugh at his wonders and we experience them together, as he needs to also be alive through me, and thus we are both fulfilled.