I am stuck in the south still and she is home in the north; and we talk on the phone and make plans to be together again in august, and then we can start over with our disrupted lives. We are alone but we are together; and the plans we make are of the future, but the past joins us in this strange dual life, which appears to be heading nowhere fast. We talk of our day; and the random occasions that happenstance has puts us through, and laugh at the world, as if all is well and this loneliness is not a factor in our existences. She is in a good mood and talks fast, and I strain to listen and catch up with all that is happening in her life. I am at a loss for words and put in the occasional sigh or word to keep the conversation flowing; as I miss her, and can’t say the words that she needs to hear.
This is our time and we need to share it; as relationships, are built, from such occasions. We do not discuss meaningful things; as the mundane takes over, and just to hear her voice and laughter is enough. I imagine the next time we will be together, and what we could do with each other; but know in my heart, that that time will also pass like the last time, and a lot will still remain undone. Such is our life that is half incomplete and half fulfilled; and we avoid talking about that void, as it would be a burden to expose it into the open. It is late and she has to go and hangs up, and I stare at the phone and think about the future, when we will be together again. I console myself that next time I will say what was left unsaid; and share what was kept hidden, for the future is our friend. The hope to see her beautiful smiling eyes again, will keep me going till then, and I connect the phone to the charger as it is my only lifeline to her for now. I stare at the empty bed and take cheer from the fact; that as each lonely night passe; I am one day closer, to being with you.

The Queen is about to sign into law; a bill allowing other queens to live in holy matrimony in her realm, in a historic bill that passed the House of Lords. Humor aside it is a proud moment for equality; and Lord Alli the Labor peer thanking the house, where he fought for 15 years for this day said, “”You have given me dignity where there was sometimes fear. You have given me hope where there was often darkness and you have given me equality where there was sometimes prejudice.” In a few decades this war between church and state; will also pass onto the history books, and the next generations will wonder what all this fuss was about.
There are enough ills in the current system of marriage; that we should not look too eagerly into what goes on behind closed doors, as many are already trapped in loveless unions, with no respite from their church or society. To allow unions of consenting couples, who are willingly seeking a state of harmony; will reduce the ills of society, and stigma and prejudice have no place among equal beings. We have enough unhappiness in the world; and should allow happiness to bud, and take root between two consenting adults. When you have billions on this earth; we should encourage different lifestyles, as in the end the creativity that is spawned by intellectual and physical interaction, can only lead to betterment for us all. Life choices are hard enough in this modern world; and we do not need to force outdated ideas, on a new world. Let the buds bloom I say; and then we can all enjoy the beauty of the flowers, which will surely rise from the happiness of these equal people, so long denied, at such a high moral cost. Celebrating the beauty of the Pink Carnations does not make one a lesser person; but not doing so will be a true travesty, showing bigotry and petty meanness towards our fellow humans.

I gaze at Claude Monet’s ‘Field of Poppies’ print hanging on my wall, and am subconsciously drawn into the world of early impressionist art. These red, pink, green, blue, white dabs of oil paint represent a new way of looking at the world around us. The open field of endless poppies, with the tall trees in the background, and then the fluffy white clouds against a sky blue background; represent a moment and place in time, captured on a canvas forever. There is an unwrapping of ethereal beauty, representation of eternal love, passion for a new vision, delight in this life and a perspective that is unique; all represented by this single work of art. Claude saw the world differently; and was fearless of his critics, when he painted what he wanted, and most importantly how he wanted it.
Art is the outcome of the soul, and the representation of the highest achievements of man. I will be an open romantic; in saying that great art inspires me, and were it not for these great works, my life would be far lesser than it is. The tortured soul of Vincent or Michelangelo left us a vision of what life should represent, and not what is mundane and routine. Standing under the enormous beauty of the statue of David; one feels reduced to the essence of man, fighting for our rightful space in this universe. We are suddenly made larger than life; by these romantic works, and even the gods must be jealous of what they represent. Human endeavor and the lust for life represent our highest callings; and we must each of us find that one thing, which makes life meaningful. Leave a legacy of not property or wealth but that one piece of your soul; that represents your unique view of existence, and all eternity will be yours. I am unabashedly in love with this field of poppies and all it represents; and life is worth living again, as I secretly dream of what one day, will be my tortured legacy for you.

I confess that I have murdered another day; and the shadow of our earth on our moon, confirms that it is as dead as all the others, that went before it. I now drive a stake through the heart of this night; bidding it to be still, but this restless time just keeps moving on. I know that time my closest companion; is a fickle friend, and will eventually desert me and continue his inexorable march towards eternity, to the space I cannot go. I breathe in this moment; and he is with me and we are one again, and all my efforts will not still this beating heart. No matter how much of it I kill, it just keeps coming back for more.
I seek solace in sleep; but he is restless and brings back dreams of his dead companion days, and I breathe the same smells, and experience the same delights, that I tried to capture and make my own. I reach out to grasp it all to myself; as this is my life I say, but he just slips through my fingers and I know I hold nothing, and will have nothing in the end also. You are faithless; I cry out in despair, and push back at him and he smiles and whispers, “have faith, for I am all that you will ever have.” I no longer want him near me; and like a jilted lover, I sulk and moan. He giggles and teases me; bringing back even more dear memories of this life, that I know is mine. I tell it to be gone; as all I want is that rosy future, where all I desire will be mine to enjoy, and not this past that reeks of decay and leaves a sour taste in my mouth of death. I thrash about in the hot night without solace from my beloved companion; and sleep comes to me at last, a poor bargain compared to what I seek. In the meantime our universe continues its expansion into another billion miles of space, and this time I love more than myself, continues his eternal dance of joy.

According to the latest 20 year study by JAMA “Overall, the United States fell in the rankings between 1990 and 2010 on nearly every major health measure.” Poor diet, tobacco and substance abuse, obesity and high blood pressure are all symptoms of a rich society, where people do not make the hard choices to stay healthy. We all know what to eat, and that we need to do 150 total minutes of moderate activity or 75 minutes of vigorous activity per week, to help us live to a ripe old age. Money spent on health care has skyrocketed; and will continue to do so, as baby boomers enter the last phase of their lives. We will continue to increasingly use our taxes; to pay for the poor life choices that couch potatoes snacking on unhealthy foods and drinks make. They will continue to lose their health and their sanity, surrounded by a cornucopia of plenty. Disabilities mental or physical will continue to grow, if the choices for entertainment remain a TV, computer, movie, spectator sports or a family gathering for an all you can eat feast. Each one of us has to learn to say no to that second helping, or desert, or the high caloric drink, and take that 20 minute brisk walk. Life expectancy has risen to 78 yet our hospitals and elderly care facilities are filled with folks; who have life debilitating conditions that could have been avoided, by just a simple lifestyle change. It may be glorious to be rich; but it is even more fabulous to be healthy, to enjoy the long productive years that modern living will provide. It is not easy to lose weight or change our life style; but in an increasingly knowledgeable world, we should make it harder to stay on a path that will lead to years of disability instead of a healthy life. Incentives need to change as society has to make an effort to encourage people to make the right choices; we should all learn that prevention is worth far more than the cure, that our leading research and development can provide. Eat healthy, exercise, keep an active mind, participate in open social dialog, for better health with lower costs and a more fulfilling life.

There comes a time when we look at ourselves and wonder how we ever came to this sorry phase in our lives; and why did we desert all the values we held so dear, for a little bit of economic gratuity. Family responsibility or personal ambition can only be excuses, for what we have allowed ourselves to evolve into. Our volition is our only choice; and we need to stand up for what we hold dear, as no other person can do that for us, no matter how close. Reach inside yourself; and you will find those same aspirations that you held solemnly, and the same seeker of truth and you can slowly start to untangle this world of suspicion and broken dreams, that surround you now. Life is like the clay we mold on our pottery wheel; and if we just let it spin meaninglessly, nothing will come of it. We have to actively mold each moment, and then burnish it in the fire of values, to stand up and say proudly – yes this is my life. Start now and the world will change around us, and the only thing we have to do is to change one person – me. Belief in oneself is the first step, to rediscover all that which we think we have lost. Live true and all else will fade; and freedom to act rightly will be regained, as life without values is valueless.